The Bishop, East Dulwich

There are bajillions of gastropubs in East Dulwich. It's gastropub galore. So The Bishop on Lordship Lane has a lot to contend with, and quite frankly, I wouldn't bother. It's owned by The Capital Pub Company, who have a number of successful pubs in the area - including The Florence in Herne Hill and The Victoria Inn, which has lodgings as well, in Peckham Rye. The Bishop advertises itself as 'The best pub on Lordship Lane', and if that's the case, there's an Iceland down the road that may be worth a punt for an evening tipple instead.

It looks pretty promising from the outside, with a giant chess piece (a pawn. Joking it's a bishop) sitting imposingly above the door and huge windows looking out onto the heart of Lordship Lane. But The Bishop suffers from Monet Syndrome - the artist I mean. That is, it looks alright from a little way away, but the closer you get to the inside, the shitter it becomes. Ok maybe not exactly like Monet, but you catch my drift.
  
The inside is pretty big, booths that are a 90s shade of mustard leather sit on the side and by the windows, and uncomfortable looking stools around tables are scattered about. It's half-heartedly gone for that quirky bric-a-brac vibe, but it's like it bought all it's "quirky bric-a-brac" from IKEA. There looks like there's a huge wall of books right at the back in a quieter corner that might have added some character, but it's actually just fancy wallpaper. There are candles above the bar in the shapes of chess pieces but they're not allowed to be burned.  Most of the pictures on the walls are dull posters advertising Weasel Beer, an ale brewed by The Florence, there's just something quite corporate about it. It generally just gives off the vibe of being a little soulless - aiming for sophisticated charm and failing.

  
Surrounding shops include a deli, a Cafe Nero, a maternity wear shop, and across the road is Green and Blue Wines, which advertise themselves as an 'Organic and biodynamic wine shop, bar and deli'. Let's not even go there. The pub has a loyalty card for mums in the area which is good. It offers them different deals every month, so at any one time the place usually has a fair few, spritzers in hand and pram handle in the other. To give you another idea of the area, I was sat by the window looking out onto the road where, not once, but twice saw a brand new white Porsche drive past. TWICE.
"That was probably just the same one though."
Yeah alright.

The menu isn't cheap, mains are around £10 and patchy. The squid and chickpea salad had perfectly cooked squid and was nice and spicy. For lunch I ordered the 'Roast chicken, fresh peas and raddichio salad with a yoghurt and mustard dressing', £9.50. The leaves were overdressed and underseasoned (there's no salt and pepper on the tables either), and the dressing tasted more like salad cream than yoghurt and mustard. The chicken was fridge cold and came as if it had picked off a roast chicken from the day before. It probably had - their roasts are actually quite good, but this chicken didn't taste of anything either. I felt pretty cheated having been charged almost a tenner for a salad I could have made at home from leftovers. It came with a few sugar snaps, several of them browning, as if they were about to go off so may as well be shoved in there. Oh, the peas were fresh though, so that is something. 
   
This place gets pretty packed on weekends, more yummy mummys sharing a bottle of vino (I find it really strange they don't do cocktails, they'd make a killing), and a few guys sitting resolutely at the bar chugging Jaegerbombs on Friday nights, trying to impress the female staff 20 years their junior. They also have a dog that lives in the pub, Clarence, who walks round bewilderedly, getting patted and prodded by punters in the evenings.

Drinks aren't cheap, especially the beers - their cheapest pint is £3.60, and it's £4.50 for a pint of Erdinger. On top of this, food is average at best, overpriced and the atmosphere isn't great. Spend your cash somewhere else, you worked hard for that. 
  
The Bishop
27 Lordship Lane
East Dulwich
SE23 8EW
Tel: 0208 693 3994
  
Opening Times
Mon-Thurs: 11:30 - 00:00
Fri: 11:30 - 02:00
Sat: 11:00 - 02:00
Sun: 11:00 - 00:00

Jam Circus, Brockley

Jam Circus is a trendy name for a pub isn't it! Conjours all sorts of images! Well, two. It's actually a sort of pub/bar/living room hybrid, complete with a fireplace, random crockery and mandatory scruffy leather armchairs. In keeping with the circusy vibe, there are red velvet curtains that act as dividers between different sections, twinkly fairy lights and framed pictures of slightly scary clowns. 

Guys, look, there's even bunting. Slight fire hazard maybe but very cheery for a shitty day in June nonetheless. The fire was on for fuck's sake. In JUNE. Anyway, the website hasn't been updated to reflect the price increases, mains are between £1 and £2 more expensive, as are the cocktails. This shouldn't put you off though, they're still reasonable because the food is quality, staff are welcoming and the drinks are fun. 
  
A medium glass of the house red (175ml) was £3.55 and beers are pretty on the money for the area. I tried their 'Cocktail Of The Month' for £6.40, June's is the 'Supergrass', a combination of vodka, Midori, apple juice and soda which was a merry green colour that kind of reminded me of that glowing nuclear thing that slips down Homer's shirt in the opening credits of The Simpsons. Anyway, it certainly had a kick to it. 

  

There's usually a nice mix of people here, students on first dates, friends who've lived in Brockley for years, 20-somethings after a days work in the big smoke - even the odd clown in for a pint in the evening (not really). And there are enough little alcoves and corners for the place to feel nice and private, perfect for catch ups, dates and meetings between spies.

Jam Circus serves gastropubby food for typical gastropubby prices. Burgers with posh toppings? Check. Steak and chips? Check. Spatchcock poussin? Slightly less typical but check - I went with this option. The difference between JC and what feels like the hundreds of similar seeming places cropping up in SE London recently is that Jam Circus clearly focuses on often locally sourced, good quality ingredients and cooking. The poussin was £9 and perfectly charcoally and sticky at the same time, delicious - if a little tricky to eat with a knife and fork so I ended up picking the meat off the bone with my hands, caveman style. Prices are manageable and portions are generous - you will not go hungry. And the salad it came with was a cut above a few sad lettuce leaves on the side of the plate - nicely dressed and the tomatoes and olives went nicely with the greek-y taste of the bird.

  

My trusty companion had the warm smoked mackerel salad with asparagus and a crumbed soft boiled egg (a scotch egg without the porky jumper) that had a perfectly runny yolk. Nice combo and the asparagus had a good bite to it. A bit of a steal at £5 so a side order of chips had to be gotten, mine were great too.
  
We came on a Tuesday and didn't realise it was Pub Quiz night, sadly couldn't stay for it so will defo be returning for some quiz action to try and win some sweet cash! Mazel Tov people of Brockley, great local.

Jam Circus
330-332 Brockley Road
Brockley
SE4 2BT
Tel. 0208 692 3320
  
Opening times: 
Sun-Thurs, Noon-Midnight
Fri, Noon-1am
Sat, 11am-1am